Sunday, January 10, 2016

Worst Sentai Uniforms (According to That Chick)

I know, I've been gone. Thanks to the underwhelming Ninninger I've been on hiatus. Plus I've been watching a lot of other stuff too.

But, with Zyuohger coming up, and the lackluster suits (I'm still going to watch the first episode though), I figured, to contrast my previous post about the best suits, I'm going to focus on the worst suits. I'm excluding Go-ranger because it was the first series, and they didn't have a definite idea of what a sentai suit should look like.

Goggle V: The jumpsuits are okay, it's the helmets that are the main drawback. They're kind of awkward looking, especially the visors which for some of them make them look like they are constipated.

Fiveman: Fiveman is one of the more panned sentai series (although compared to some of the shit lately, it doesn't look so bad, and has many redeeming qualities that make it watchable). And the suits do nothing to help. They just just look awkward. Especially the helmets, with the stripes on the visors. I get the markings (the atom, the musical note) on the helmets signify the subject they teach, but they seem out of place for some reason.

 Ohranger: The suit designs are very bland, and considering they are in the military, I was thinking they'd have something that signifies that, and the design to be more military uniform-like and not as mystical--although they do get their power from a mystical source. The other problem are the helmets. Shinkenger had the same design, however, the visors with the symbols actually pop out and add some dimension. The shapes on each of the Ohranger's helmets don't, and make their helmets look kind of boring.

Magiranger Legend: Yes, super modes aren't safe on this list. I didn't mind the Magirangers' normal suits, and the capes actually made sense, they were wizards. The main drawback is the weird Ancient Egyptian-like chest pieces which look really silly, along with the boots/shinguards which make them somehow look less threatening.

Boukenger: When will I give this series a break? The suits are boring, I'm not big on the logo on their chests, and the helmets are kind of ugly and unimaginative. I get they are supposed to look like their mecha, I think the only time they should do that is if the series is vehicle themed. It does nothing to signify they are treasure hunters or adventurers or total assholes (which is what they are).

Goseiger Super Mode: The only "upgrade" is the chest armor that looks really bulky, uncomfortable, non-practical, and a little ugly (I'm using that word a lot, I know). I like to think what would happen if it was made of actual metal, they'd either fall forward, or have tremendous back pain. Super modes are supposed to be threatening--not silly--unless it is a silly series.

Zyuohger: I'm okay with the helmets, they have kind of a Gingaman quality to them. It's the suits that are the drawback. The animal prints look really cheap, really lazy, and really unimaginative. Is that all they could come up with? This looks like really shitty, last minute, custom-made T-shirts for a cheap-ass Halloween costume. This is the 40th Anniversary: I know Boukenger had bad suits, but Gaoranger, another animal themed anniversary series had great suits! They look like a sentai team who left their shirts at the dry cleaners. And if I was a villain, I wouldn't take these guys as a threat, when they wear the sentai suit equivalent to this:

And expect me to take them seriously.

I know, roar, I'm mean.


  1. So Maskman is better than these!? SERIOUSLY?!

  2. In my case, I think the Fiveman and Boukenger suits aren't bad.

    1. No indeed. And to be honest, I don't really mind the animal print on the Zyuoger's suits, either. Sure, it's not that creative, but hey, it's better than nothing.

  3. "It does nothing to signify they are treasure hunters or adventurers or total assholes (which is what they are)."

    I don't know, the logo on the chest seems kind of assholeish as a way to promote themselves whenever they do save someone.

    Also I'm kind of surprised Goseiger's main uniform isn't on here, because I find them to be pretty bland, not Ohranger bland, but bland nonetheless.

    P.S. you only really used the word ugly twice, but they are more than appropriate for the uniforms.

  4. I actually think the Goggle V and Ohranger suits look cool. What I find odd is with Goggle Pink her helmet's a different shade of pink compared to her suit (noticed something similar with Oh Blue in one episode). They don't look too awkward to me though. Fiveman's are nice and I don't mind the Super Mode of Goseiger.

    Boukenger is decent and Magiranger Legend looks OK. ZyuOhger's could be better though, but then again, I haven't seen a Sentai suit I haven't liked...